Minutes, Miles, and Millimeters
by rgs38
Summary: Post "Fault Lines" one-shot drabble thing. Short description of what's going on in Ed's head and what he's feeling just after the ending of "Fault Lines"...I'm leaving this description spoiler free but it's really tough.


Minutes, Miles, and Millimeters

_So much for me not doing any post "Fault Lines" stories! I got this idea while I wrote my last long one, "To Hell and Back," but they do not intertwine. Basically, this is completely independent, you'll see, I contradict that one here but I like the way this worked. Enough of that, just tell me what you think please. I don't own Flashpoint. SPOILERS: "Fault Lines."_

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><p>Time; it's a tricky thing. Just seconds can change anything, and that all that it took. <em>Seconds turning to minutes.<em> Precious seconds compounding into long minutes wasted, never to be regained.

The day had seemed to crawl by. Each physical test felt longer and harder that it really should have, each moment seemed like three after he learned what would be waiting for him after this hell of shift. At least he hoped that they'd be waiting for him, that they wouldn't have completely ruled him out as part of the process, as part of their family. They slow, painful day, only culminated in the slow, painful rehashing of old wounds. Old wounds barely healed, some still bleeding...bleeding...blood, and unbearable searing pain.

He'd tried. He really had tried. Part of him was actually impressed that he was able to so seamlessly transition from pure rage and panic to the persona of the calm negotiator. Only he wasn't a negotiator, he was a sniper and his gun was miles away at the SRU. _Miles and minutes._ He thought he heard something, a car door slamming maybe, but then again it felt like he was underwater. He squinted his eyes against the bright light, blurry specks invading his vision. Sounds were a jumbled mess, nothing distinguishable...except...a quiet wheezing. He wondered where it was coming from, not realizing that the sounds were escaping his own lips as oxygen fought it's way into and out of his lungs.

Pain. No, no that wasn't the word for it. Unbearable. That was getting closer but still not quite conveying the searing agony that he was fighting to stay conscious against. It felt like his heart had somehow moved to his shoulder, pumping against the edges of the gaping gun shot wound, pulsating against the frayed nerves. More searing pain with each pump of blood. He almost wished he could stop the incessant beat, stope the pain, but he knew that he couldn't. He felt cold even though he was laying on the hot concrete, the mid afternoon sun beating down on him, the glare seeming permanent in his eyes. It was probably the blood loss. He considered using his good arm to try and reach over and slow the bleeding but he realized that he couldn't move.

He would have laughed at the irony, of course this day would turn out with him laying in the middle of the road, shot, but the wheezing was getting worse and laughing would have been too much effort, he was too dizzy to laugh, too cold...so tired. He wanted nothing more than to close his eyes. He felt the ever appealing darkness stretching it's tantalizing grasp closer. He wondered if the torturous pain would stop if he just let it take him, he wondered how much longer he'd be able to hold out before his body made the choice for him. _Minutes and miles and millimeters._

One one side, millimeters from hitting his vest, on the other side, millimeters from just grazing his arm. Minutes from the hospital. Miles from his gun. Seconds from the darkness.

A cacophony of sounds and sights mixed in his mind and blurred together as the darkness encroached on the edges of his vision. His eyes were seeing but he wasn't understanding, not until he felt more pain. Direct, searing pain flooded him as the dizziness made his eyes hurt. He couldn't stand this new pressure. His body, with the little strength he had left, tried to get away from the new pain piled on top of the old but the hands holding him were firm. He heard a whimper as the hands pressed harder on his wound...did he really just whimper? Sounds mixed again and he couldn't make out any of it as he felt like he was perpetually stuck beneath the surface of some cruel lake, but one syllable broke through.

"Ed?" A firm voice, confident yet shaken...female...not Jules...Donna? His mind was sluggish as he felt himself fighting for breath again. She was still calling for him, still speaking but a new voice broke through. Practiced calm, an edge of concern, he knew this voice too well to let it fade into the mesh of other sounds.

"Eddie, stay with me buddy." And he knew that he had to say something, he had to let Greg know.

"S...S..." He was trying so hard to say what he needed, to fight against the darkness, and the pain, and wheezing, and his protesting lungs. "S..."

"Don't talk Eddie, I'll let Sophie know what's going on, we'll take you to her. Just hang on."Greg spoke passionately as new hands took over for Donna, more practiced hands. New voices came to his ears and made it hard to focus but he had to tell him.

"S...S..." The darkness had invaded all but the absolute center of his vision. Breathing was harder as the wheezing stopped and, for an instant, he felt like the pain was gone, like he was floating in dizziness. "S...So..." But the rest of the word, the rest of that one, all important word wouldn't come to his lips as he felt a medic place something over his mouth, force oxygen down his throat, just before the darkness won.

Minutes and miles and millimeters...and fate. Because really, this is how his life had always been. Too much time at work. Too distant from his family. Too many long miles of his unflinching lie 'I'm fine.' Too many moments spent waiting, spent hoping, that things would work themselves out. Too few proclamations of love, too many expectations. Too few seconds to say the simple words, his all important words 'I'm sorry.'

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><p><em>Whoo! This got really dark and depressing...sorry. Before I get Scorpio'ed, I didn't say that Ed died. I said that the medics were there and that they were helping him...I really didn't want to make him die in this one, so he's alive, trust me. But let me know what you think. I feel like the last lines are kind of awkward but overall I really love this one. I'm not usually very good at thoughts and descriptions so this one is big for me. Also, I'm aware that I way overuse ellipses, I'm sorry but they're one of my favorite grammatical toys. Let me know what you think.<em>


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